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Helping your child adjust to the idea of divorce

| Oct 26, 2020 | Divorce

Divorce is a huge life adjustment that impacts every family differently. Depending on your kids’ age and the relationship you had with your ex, the news of your separation could come as a complete shock or may come as a relief. However, no matter how your kids respond to the news, there are things you can do to make this transitional period easier on them.

Though they can be difficult discussions, talking with your kids early and often can give them opportunities to express their feelings and get more comfortable with the idea of their life changing. Here are a few things you can do to reassure your child and help them come to terms with your divorce:

Practice honesty

While you don’t need to get into the details of why your marriage is ending, you don’t want to dance around the fact that you and your ex will no longer be together. Explaining to your child that while you both still love them, you are unable to make things work together can ensure they understand you won’t be getting back together.

Explain it’s no one’s fault

Children need to know that your divorce decision had nothing to do with them, mainly if they are young. Additionally, it would help if you tried not to show any anger towards your ex or blame them for your divorce in front of your kids. You don’t want your children to feel guilty about having a positive relationship with the other parent.

Anticipate tough questions

Your kids will likely have a lot of questions when it comes to your divorce. While you may not have all the answers, allowing your children to express their fears and worries can make them feel heard. Typical questions a child may ask about your divorce can include:

  • Why are you getting divorced?
  • Will you get back together?
  • Will I have to move or change schools?
  • Will I still see the other parent?
  • Did I do something wrong?

It’s vital that children feel secure and loved when their parents are in the process of separating. With patience and understanding, you can ensure you can help them navigate this transitional time.